5 days before today, November, 7, 2013, 11 Months after the our knots were tied,.. This beautiful angel here comes along and showers us with Love, Grace and Gratitude… ♥
Amen. Amen. Amen!
Ten months before today, me and my husband, we were just two people, unsure what the future holds for us. We travel. We drink. We soar. We get high. We have nothing to worry about really. Today, we are still unsure, but somehow we already have been given hints of what we must be expecting.. We stopped traveling, drinking, soaring and getting high.
I’m not about to explain, lecture or complain about marriage here, because as early as this, ten months, we are still novice in this field. There are still many things I’m yet to take in and understand about this set up. Lots of sacrifices to be made, lot’s of things to consider and let pass. But sometimes, I feel like it is even taking away my freedom. It pins me down to a spot where all I got to do is meet expectations or fulfill obligations.
So yes, I’ve expected you to ask whey am I here. Why I’ve agreed to be here.
I’m in love. I love the man that I married and that’s all the reason I need to stay. And the fact that I do feel that he loves me too, why would I even complain?
That’s why I’m saying that this is not a complaint. This is just me trying to lay my cards on the table. Me trying to face reality and understand for my very own improvement and learning.
You know when people always quote things but you never really understand what those quotes really mean until you yourself is using that particular quote to quote yourself? Yes. Nothing is ever easy. Standing up for the people you love, for the decisions that you made.., and adjusting so you can fit the mold. These things can sometimes be very painful and crushing. But really, do we have any other option? Is there any other better option than to fight for the betterment of ones self for the sake of thy self and the people thy love?
It has been 10 months since this journey began. And I should say, I miss getting high, oh yes I really do, But I couldn’t be more proud of the pain that I’ve gone, still going and will be going through for the sake of my choices. The road is long and rough at dusty. But what’s sweeter than to have someone to share everything at the end of a tedious, tiring and arid or cold day.?
Sometimes.. like last night, this happens. This very weird feeling that I’ve reached a dead and and that I’ve no where to go just soaks me with agitation and uneasiness. I hear every sound around and they all annoy me. I felt like I was trapped in a very narrow place that there’s no where I could to run for escape. My resolve was so low, and I see everything as a threat.
I try to reach an explanation for this, because it was not the first time I felt like this. Was it really my husband playing computer games? Was it because of my thinking that his mother is thinking something bad about me? Or was it because I felt so lazy that the ‘so many things’ that I need to do is sort of bugging my conscience.
Sometimes.. every gloomy things come to me all at once. All this freaky things, causing me so much fright and insecurity that I just tend to cry.
Like a small kid I cried. And prayed. I shut my eyes tight close and prayed to God with all my might to have me fall asleep or make every annoying noise around me stop.
It took a short while but it stopped. all the noises did. My husband stopped from clicking and playing and came to me to check me out. He knew his playing most of the time annoys me so he sort of have already guessed my state of mind. He consoled me. it took a while for me to gain my resolve, but I got it.
I used to be very confused whenever this happens to me. But now I’ve proven that like before, no matter how confused I get, God still answers my immediate cries for help. ♥
Nine months after, and a souvenir from our wedding still exist! (I secretly just grabbed this pic from my husband’s friend on facebook as he just posted this pic today to give a shout out to my husband.. hehe)
I’ve learned that these bonsais are very sensitive plants. They need proper care and attention to last. I fell in love with them the first time I saw them, but when I started taking care of them, I’ve found out that tending them is no joke. You cannot just water them, for they shouldn’t be watered too much. They need sunlight once in a while and rodents, boy they like them a lot too. So one should be really patient and cautious if one is planning to take care of them.. Sadly my plants at my office table only lasted for a couple of months.. But these bonsais are really great for office displays.♥
Nine months after.. and here we are..looking forward to the next two months..to seeing the fruit of the Love we’ve had and continuously having..♥
Nine months after, and here we are.. getting fatter cooking, eating, laughing, singing, dancing, learning, growing and loving. ♥
Almighty Loving Force, Thank You for this Flow, Amen.♥
I don’t really know what a good chocolate cheesecake tastes like. I’ve eaten about three slices of blueberry cheesecake in my life time, but I did not become a fan of this dessert.
Anyhow, one afternoon, as I was browsing videos on YouTube, I came across this easy-no-bake-chocolate-cheesecake video. I was glued to it right there and then, searching for more videos with varieties of techniques on how to do this easy recipe.
I don’t mean to share to you how I did this really. I mean not like what you see in those gourmet blogs where there are measurements of ingredients and procedures of their recipe. I just simply want to write something about this experience; of concocting something out of pure want and urge of the heart.
I expected this to become a disaster right from the start. The first reason is that I don’t have an electronic hand mixer, which according to the videos is essential to whipping and creaming things. Second, is that I didn’t really measure things up(ingredient), and third is that I don’t have that pan they use where the bottom is detachable.
The best consolation I got after all that pressure, is that my husband.. I think he liked it. ♥
And to see him eat like he’s happy doing so.. haaay.. just makes me feel so good. ♥
One of the things I like most about married life is that I get to cook for the man I love and have minimal bad comments about it, even though I know many times, my dishes taste awful, still my loving man makes me feel good about my efforts and inspires me to cook more.
♥ Pork Shomai ♥
This is one of my first attempts at cooking.. A dish that I think, based from how he ate it, he liked. This dish is not so complicated to prepare for you just have to steam it and it’s good to go. My husband fixes a delectable chilli paste made from ‘sauted’ fresh chillies, garlic, onions and soy sauce. Paired with these marvelous goodies.. uh, just great. ♥
♥ Sugpo Sinigang ♥
This is a tangy-tasty dish. A native Filipino Soup that looks tedious to prepare but actually is very easy to cook. It includes a variety of vegetables and my choices are- radish, string beans, eggplants, kangkong or water spinach and sugpo. But Sugpo or big shrimp is only seasonal in the market, that’s why sometimes, I just have to do with smaller shrimps. Sometimes, this dish turns out to be sweeter than usual because one of my secret ingredients here is sugar. Based from experience, I learned that adding a little amount of sugar brings out a wonderful balance of flavors. But whenever I watch TV while I cook this, I tend to put more sugar.. and can’t really explain why.. >_<..Otherwise, most of the time it turns out fine and my husband eats more than usual.. haha..♥
♥ Sweet and Creamy Leche Flan ♥
I used to dream of preping this dish when I was a kid. But I grew up in an environment where my mom had no passion for fixing desserts so I had to brush and keep this dream in my pocket for quite some time.. a very long time.
But last summer, My ever so loving husband, bought me these..
My heart was just filled with joy and excitement to try that one dessert I dreamt of making for so long..
My first take tasted good but was a bit lumpy and there were some eggy taste for I forgot to strain the mixture before putting it in the molds. My second attempt was hard for I over cooked it, While my third set came out heavenly. ♥
Cooking gives me lots of pressure but tons of excitement as well. Thinking that I have an opportunity to make my loved ones happy, and when they actually like what I prepared, it just makes me feel so good. In times when they didn’t, don’t, I do feel awful, but my husband, so supportive as he is, gives me hope, comforts me and pushes me to try again and learn more for the better next time. ♥
Thank You, thank you. ♥